


Weapon

by kyelenia



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 15:33:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1433647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyelenia/pseuds/kyelenia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4x12 missing moment</p><p> He takes a steadying breath and, with Ian in his arms, he feels like they can fight and overcome any fucking thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weapon

After showing Carl and Debbie to the door, Mickey takes off his clothes and crawls in bed behind Ian.

  
Ian is still, except for his chest rising up with every breath he takes; Mickey thinks he’s not really sleeping, but he doesn’t want to test his patience again, hearing him yell against him that afternoon has already been enough.  He can’t help but encircle Ian’s waist with his arm, pulling him close to his chest, enjoying the little comfort of having Ian in his arms, feeling him relax and taking a quiverish breath. 

  
"I really don’t know what’s going on with you," he says, voice trembling, barely above a whisper, "but I’m sorry for snapping at you today."

  
He’s not used to that word, to apologizing for his actions and his mistakes; he’s used to defending his choices and his beliefs against a world that gives him nothing but crap.

  
"I hope…" he continues, pausing to take a breath and gather his courage, "I hope you know I would mind if you decided not to get up anymore."

  
He keeps feeling nothing but the raising of Ian’s chest against his palm, the calm and silence descending again on them everytime he stops speaking. Ian’s stillness scares him, he can’t even begin to process the utter silence from someone as alive and full of energy as Ian is. He can still see Ian’s smile in front of the Alibi, after their fight against Terry, his face covered in blood, but his expression so happy and loving, and this new lack of response is something new he would’ve happily lived without.

  
"I really hope it’s not something I did, man. I know I can be fucking dumb sometimes, but I think I gave you every single thing you asked for."

  
He starts stroking Ian’s chest with his hand, hoping to get any kind of reaction, but Ian’s only answer is a trembling breath and the same silence, stifling and terrifying. 

  
"C’mon man, just fucking answer. Tell me to go fuck myself if that’s what you want. Until yesterday you had always something to say, so many ideas and plans, and now nothing? Really?" Mickey’s voice is getting hysterical, but he’s not able to rein the panic anymore. 

  
Mickey feels Ian start crying, his shoulders shaking with the wrecking force of the sobs that leave his mouth. Ian turns around to hide his face against Mickey’s chest, hugging him painfully tight.

  
"I’m sorry, I’m so sorry," he sobs against his collarbone, damping Mickey’s skin with his tears.

  
"It’s okay Ian, you’re okay. I’m here," Mickey tries to reassure him, moving his hand up and down on Ian’s back in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.

  
Ian seems unable to stop crying, and Mickey keeps trying to comfort him in every way he can think of, whispering reassurances in his ear and stroking his back. He doesn’t know how long they keep going like that, but at some point Ian’s shaking starts to subside, his sobs becoming quieter and quieter until they stop altogether. He doesn’t stop mumbling apologies and reassurances though, any sound, even the one of his own voice, preferable to the quiet.  He stops only when he hears Ian’s breath becoming slow and regular, his body almost relaxed in his arms. 

  
He really has no fucking clue about what’s going on, but he’s not going to let this thing, whatever it is, ruin what they’ve managed to build together, after years of pain and fear. He takes a steadying breath and, with Ian in his arms, he feels like they can fight and overcome any fucking thing. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm Italian, but even if Shameless Italian fandom is non existent I really wanted to write this. This is my first attempt at writing in English, so please be nice <3


End file.
